The latest mud-slinging election campaign is finally over and I am reminded again of how much this season brings out the worst in us. So I visited the fourth grade last week for some new ideas. If only our politicians had the help of our fourth grade conflict managers.

We gathered in Ms. Stacy’s room, students from her class and from Mr. Clear’s room next door. I told them how disheartening it has been to watch so many of our country’s aspiring leaders say such disparaging and often untruthful or misleading things about each other.

We’ve become a society that views the political process as being characterized by “winners” and “losers”. So November 8th this year finds roughly half the electorate on the winning side of every contest and half on the losing side. The whole point of the campaign, it seems, is to drive us apart.

To be sure, there are real differences between the relative policy positions represented across the political spectrum. Your vote really does matter. But how much better it might be if we worked from a spirit of shared purpose, rather than reducing every issue to a conflict between my way and yours. I win, you lose.

At the beginning of every year, our fourth graders spend a day learning how to manage conflict. And it is not a theoretical exercise. Like so much of what makes MPA an experiential learning community, this program is practical and will be applied in real time – on the playground.

Wearing orange, fourth grade conflict managers talk with younger students

The rules are clear. They are only to help with conflicts that do not involve any physical contact, which at MPA, represent the vast majority of playground conflicts. They can defer to an adult if they need mediation, but rarely do. And by the time they’ve reached fourth grade, they’ve come to trust the system as they’ve experienced it themselves in previous years.

And now that they’ve actually had to perform this critical role, what has surprised them about the job?

“You don’t know that people will use you, but they really do,” said one fourth grader. “They trust us because we are students too and they are comfortable with us.”

And what have they learned on the job? According to the current MPA fourth grade class the secret to being a good conflict manager is …

•Staying calm

•Listening

•Don’t take sides

•Give each side equal time

•Don’t tell them how to solve the conflict, just guide them.  This will help them be more independent.

“So how do you guide them?” I ask.

“Let them talk it out, ask them questions,” they chime in, “…do it step by step…you need patience, especially when there are multiple conflicts…there is more to being a conflict manager than just telling the solution.”

And what advice would they have for our newly elected officials?

“When people look up to you, you should be a good role model.” Out of the mouths of babes. This, of course, is the embedded essence and true secret of the conflict managers program. Fourth graders are being called on to be leaders and to lead by example and their actions really matter.

In another twenty years or so, some of them may actually be eyeing a run for office themselves. Whether they’re looking for votes, or just deciding how to cast their own, I trust they will hold onto the lessons they are learning and applying every day during recess at MPA.

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Next week, a special Thanksgiving piece on the incredible generosity of the MPA community with news on the Capital Campaign, the Best of MPA and an exciting new Parents Association grant program (see this week’s PA section of the eCommunication).