{"id":13978,"date":"2019-09-20T16:16:00","date_gmt":"2019-09-20T21:16:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.moundsparkacademy.org\/news\/?p=13978"},"modified":"2019-10-01T19:54:47","modified_gmt":"2019-10-02T00:54:47","slug":"lets-be-friends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.moundsparkacademy.org\/news\/2019\/09\/20\/lets-be-friends\/","title":{"rendered":"Let\u2019s Be Friends"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"middleGaining the Skills to Build Healthy Relationships<\/strong>
\nOne of our most basic human needs is forming community by making friends. We\u2019re social creatures, drawn to seek connections throughout our lives. While rewarding and fulfilling, building healthy friendships takes practice. It\u2019s an important life skill for children to learn early\u2014increasing their capacity to create friendships, be a good friend, and progressively cultivate and sustain strong relationships at all ages.<\/p>\n

Open Discussions on Friendship<\/strong>
\n\u201cThe foundation of friendship is open communication, both in terms of among friends and about friendship itself,\u201d explains Tara Keegan, Mounds Park Academy Lower School counselor. A licensed professional clinical counselor and parent, Keegan recommends beginning conversations about friends starting in PreK. \u201cAsk your child who they sat with at lunch, who they played with at recess, what the group did that day,\u201d she says. \u201cTalk about the feelings around those interactions, and share how important it is to listen and learn within a friendship. That\u2019s the beginning of empathy, being able to understand where another person is coming from, and is so important in building connections and friendships.\u201d<\/p>\n

Keegan emphasizes that all children are different, with some enjoying a broad range of friendships, and others more comfortable with a smaller group of friends. \u201cThere\u2019s not a right-or-wrong number of friends,\u201d she says. \u201cWhat\u2019s key is that children are social, are making connections, and continue to build their interpersonal skills in the way that\u2019s right for them.\u201d<\/p>\n

Behavioral health specialist Kristen Eastman of The Cleveland Clinic underscores that theme, advising parents<\/a> to learn more about their child\u2019s approach to forming friendships through a \u201cfly on the wall\u201d approach. She suggests attending school or other activities to casually observe how your child interacts with others, where they stand back and where they join in, and then informally assess their comfort level and skills are when it comes to friendships. With that as a starting point, you can begin talking with your child about friendship, create a safe space to bring forward any worries or concerns, and discuss how they can build supportive relationships.<\/p>\n

\"MS
\nNavigating Middle School Friendships<\/strong>
\nMiddle School creates a whole new arena for relationships, with students facing more complex interpersonal dynamics during the start of adolescence. \u201cAs parents we tend to worry about conflict within friendships, but conflict can serve as a really essential life skill and relationship ability,\u201d says Keegan. \u201cBy navigating conflict in a healthy way, we improve those empathy and listening skills, diffuse some emotional intensity, and demonstrate that friends can sustain the inevitable ups and downs of daily life and of growing up.\u201d<\/p>\n

As students progress through Middle and into Upper School, it\u2019s also common for friendships to naturally evolve and change. \u201cThat can be a tough one for parents, because we\u2019ve often also become invested in these friendships,\u201d Keegan says. \u201cWe\u2019re used to our kids being in a certain group or with certain people, and tend to worry a bit as some relationships fade and others emerge. This is another place where parents should be observant, but not over-involved\u2014ask questions, check in on feelings, raise issues if needed, but allow your child to take lead on building their social circle.\u201d<\/p>\n

Building healthy relationships is an ongoing focus in MPA\u2019s whole child curriculum, with resources for both students and parents provided at school throughout the year, and at each division level. Character development themes are woven into classroom learning, facilitated discussions are held around key topics in advisory and health classes, peer leaders help other students navigate difficult conversations, and parents can take part in a series of learning events. One powerful example of students building skills and community occurs in Middle School Friendship Groups, which are held over the course of eight weeks. During lunch, students come together to learn about how to navigate difficult emotions, confidently communicate with others, and build strong friendships\u2014proactively addressing the social, emotional, and mental health challenges that appear developmentally during this time.<\/p>\n

Friends in Adolescence, Good Mental Health as Adults<\/strong>
\nThe power of building healthy friendships during the teen years was demonstrated by a study from the University of Virginia published in the journal Child Development<\/em><\/a>. \u201cOur research found that the quality of friendships during adolescence may directly predict aspects of long-term mental and emotional health,\u201d said Rachel K. Narr, Ph.D. candidate in clinical psychology, who led the study. Researchers found that, compared to their peers, by age 25 teens who prioritized close friendships when they were 15 had lower social anxiety, an increased sense of self-worth, and fewer symptoms of depression. The researchers suggest this may be because positive friendships help build affirmation during a stage of life when young people are creating their identify and building self esteem. Close friendships early also help set productive standards for friendships\u2014young people learn what healthy relationships look and feel like, so both model and expect those types of connections as they grow up.<\/p>\n

\u201cFriends are important to learning, in the academic, social and individual sense,\u201d says Keegan. \u201cIt\u2019s a life-long journey, and one that we\u2019re very supportive of and attentive to here at MPA.\u201d<\/p>\n

Learn More about It: Healthy Friendships<\/strong><\/p>\n